Evena, I’m kinda embarrassed to ask your advise but I’m gonna anyway. I do anything my boyfriend asks as far as sex because I love him very much and want him to be happy. Lately he’s been only doing anal sex on me and sometimes it even hurts bad but I let him anyway. How can I get him to just do this once in a while instead?
Swenthia you really need to try to become the woman on top. Get on top of him and take control girl. Use your other gifts the right way and your problem is solved.
I almost got into the same situation. I was giving him too much of a good thing and he like got hooked on it.
Evena is right. You have to take control and make him do what you want. Lay him down and get on him and take control. Sit on his face if you have to.
Hey Precious, I wouldn’t mind if you did that to me.
Evena please try to help me. I feel like my husband doesn’t even pay attention to me. He rarely even kisses me. What can I do to make him want to get close to me again.
Find a good plastic surgeon.
Toni, the first thing to do is buy a new perfume. One I would recommend for you is Gardenia by Jovan. It’s going to intoxicate him. Then cook your husband some spicy conch creole for dinner. All he can eat, and don’t go easy on the hot peppers. Spray some of that perfume on in all the right places and he will tear you apart in bed that night.
Hey Toni I’m available for dinner any night of the week.
Evena I want to ask a personal question. My nipples get sore easy and it hurts when men, you know, suck on them. They think it makes me feel good but I hate it. Is there something I can put on them to make them less sensitive?
I got some special cream I make that you can rub on them.
Get a sign that says look but don’t touch.
Twin Peaks, If you really want to discourage men from suckling your breasts which is probably the cause of making your nipples so sore, I recommend you rub castor oil on your nipples just before getting cozy with a man.
Been there. Done that.
Evena, I think my man is cheating on me with my baby sister but I can’t prove it. What should I do? Confront them?
Evena, I’ve been thinking my husband is cheating also. When I do the laundry I’ve been seeing stains in his underwear. What should I do?
This answer is for Cream Puff. Knowledge is power. Don’t dare confront either of them till you know exactly what’s going on. Get a good Private Investigator and get some proof. Once you know exactly what’s up then I’ll let you know how to proceed. This way you can keep your man if you want and still not create a family disaster.
Lakeetha, are those brown stains or white stains and where are they located inside his underwear?
I get those brown stains occasionally. My mother used to call them skid marks.
Evena, those stains are white and almost plaster like. They’re always located in the front inside where his penis and testicles would be .
Lakeetha, you have something going on there that’s not good. Either your husband is doing premature ejaculation in his underwear or he’s not cleaning himself very well after he finishes cheating on you. I would recommend that you put him under surveillance by a good Private Investigator and find out what he’s really up to.
I want to get some advice from Evena. My problem is I can’t find a woman to go out with me anymore. This has been going on for over fifteen years now. Women won’t even talk to me in a grocery store. I start a simple conversation and they either laugh or pretend they don’t hear me.
I have a few recommendations. First get rid of that hat. The beard has to go also. Moustaches are in and I think you would look suave and debonair with one. Those glasses are out too. A woman wants to look into a man’s eyes. When you look at a woman and you want to strike a conversation with her start with a joke and then a compliment. Don’t be afraid to ask for her phone number. If she doesn’t give it, give her a card with your name and number.
Hey Bill, Evena is right. Looking like a truck driver from the 1980s isn’t exactly sexy. I bet there’s a nice looking sexy man under that hat, beard, and sunglasses. What Evena said about moustaches is true. They’re sexy as hell.
Evena, thank you so much for your advice. I think things are now on the right track with me and my boyfriend.
Did you sit on his face?
I didn’t have to go that far but I did get on top. It was kinda fun. I dangled my titties in his face and he wen’t crazy.
Evena I want to tell you that the castor oil I rubbed on my nipples worked. It soothed the pain and when one of my boyfriends suckled on them he really didn’t like the taste at all. Problem solved.
Evena, could you please help me with a relationship problem I have. My boyfriend and I live together. He’s working two full-time jobs and we rarely have time to relax and make love anymore and I feel we’re drifting apart. Any advice you can give me?
Evena, I just found your blog today and love it. It’s really refreshing to see a blog like this that people are talking about real love, sex and relationship issues. This will be a daily read for me.
Kadejah, men like surprises. So next time he comes home from work surprise him by standing behind the door naked. When he comes in give him the eye shock of his life. This will definitely liven things up more than they have been in a long time.
Evena, I have my 50th anniversary coming up next month and I love my wife just as much now as the day we were married. Can you give me a suggestion as to what I can give her for an anniversary gift for this occasion.
Giovanni, the first thing I would not suggest is greeting her when she comes home by standing in back of the door naked. What I do suggest is giving her a gift to remember forever. A quiet relaxing get back to basics vacation like three days in the Turks and Caicos Islands would be a dream come true for her and the perfect 50th anniversary gift.
Giovanni, If your wife doesn’t want to go I’m packed and ready!
Grand Turk is beautiful. I’ve been there five or six times. Very quiet and private and relaxing. There are couple of really nice bed and breakfasts on the island. The water is a gorgeous turquoise green and so warm. They have the biggest and the best fresh caught lobster I have ever eaten.
Dear Evena, I have a very big problem and need your help. I have two boyfriends and I love them both very much. They don’t know about each other and it’s getting harder everyday for me to keep them from finding out about each other. I don’t think I could live without either of them. Each of them loves me and satisfies me in every way possible. What do you think I should do before this whole thing blows up in my face?
Hey Giovanni you wouldn’t happen to know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried?
I am sorry sir but I live in Milan, Italy. I don’t know much about what you are talking about. I have only been to the United States twice.
I always wanted to visit Italy.
Hi everybody. My name is Pat. I’m from Racine, Wisconsin. I just want to say hello and I’m happy I found this blog and became a member. I really like it and find it very interesting. I think I can learn a lot from it. I don’t have any love problems yet. I wish I did because that would mean I’m in love or somebody loves me. Also I want to say hi to Evena.
Hi Pat and welcome to Shitzel.com. I would also like to say hi and to say thank you to all the members of Shitzel.com. Every one of you are now like family. It’s great to hear from all of you. Keke, I haven’t forgoten about your relationship problem with you and your two boyfriends. Your answer will be forthcoming.
Evena bubala, I love Shitzel.com and love reading all the people’s problems, your advice, and the people’s comments. I love it all including the hair tips and fashion tips. I check the new posts daily and read them while I take my morning coffee.
This answer is for Keke. Women that have two boyfriends are usually playing with fire. With roles reversed and a man that has more than one girlfriend, this could at worst lead to a cat fight between the women. But with a woman juggling two boyfriends, this could lead to a murder suicide. My advice is to wean yourself off of one of your boyfriends and let him fade away.
Evena, I have a sexual relations problem with my fiancé. We live together and things are really good between us except for one thing. He’s now used to getting oral sex from me every morning when he wakes before he gets out of bed. I’ve been doing this for him for over a year now. I don’t mind doing this but his aggressiveness now when I’m doing it is getting to be a little too much. I don’t want to lose him because we’re getting married in December.
Sounds like a problem.
Gretta, do you spit or swallow?
Hey Kick it Up, Kick it Down a little bit. Gretta has a problem so let her get some advice from Evena.
She could use her teeth a little bit.
Good advice. One good scrape and he won’t be coming back for more.
Evena, I seem to be attracted toward women much younger than myself but they don’t seem interested. There are several women around my age that want to get together with me but they don’t excite me at all. How can I get younger women to be attracted to me and not get stuck on an age issue?
Try vaginal rejuvenation surgery and quit wastin away again in Margaritaville.
Hey Prunesville, try getting those young chicks drunk before you hit on em. If that doesn’t work there’s always Ruffies.
I hate men like Kick it Up.
Oy vey. Kick it Up you’re acting like a fercockt altercocker. I used to have a boyfriend like you when I was a teenager.
I meant a girlfriend.
I don’t think age matters if two people want to be friends.
I wouldn’t go down on Margaritaville even with Pat’s tongue.
I don’t get it. Why the hell is Margaritaville looking for young women?
Bill, Margaritaville is what we used to refer to as a carpet muncher. She must really enjoy young carpets. I always say to each there own. Luzzem.
This advice is for Margaritaville. I suggest you start with buying some new outfits that younger women are wearing these days. Things that are in fashion right now. Also what perfume you are using is a factor in who you’re attracting. Check out what’s hot and what’s not. There are specific pheromones that you can add to your perfume that could drive these younger women wild and have them paying more attention to you when you approach them.
Scent is a big factor for a girl being attracted to another girl.
This sure was becoming a boring Sunday till I got on Shitzel.com.
Hi Gretta. Sorry for the late answer for the solution to your problem. That one was a little tough. I saw the other suggestions from some of the Shitzel.com members and actually they weren’t too far off. You’re going to have to make him a little uncozy and do something negative to make him relate to when he’s thinking about his daily “you know what” service you’ve been providing for him. I suggest you make yourself gag while doing this enough to make yourself throw up on him. It sounds horrible but if you want him to stop looking forward to this morning service you’ve been providing you’ll have to do it. Multiple times if necessary.
I’m scared to vomit. I don’t even like thinking about it. But I’ll try to do this at least once and see what happens.
Girl you have to do what you have to do to end that morning nightmare. Was he holding your head or was it worse than that? He took advantage of a good thing.
Don’t want to say but it’s worse than that. I’m going to go ahead with the plan and I’ll let you know if it worked.
Hope it works.
Well today is day three of the solution to the problem plan. Two days in a row I started to do you know what on my fiancé. Each time about five or ten minutes into doing it I made myself gag and vomited all over him in the bed. This was day three and I can tell you that when he woke up this morning he didn’t wake me up as usual. He just got up and got ready for work. He was still nice to me and kissed me goodbye when he left. So now I can tell you all the plan did work. I’ll keep you posted.
That must have been a mess to clean up each morning. I use Arm & Hammer Clean Burst laundry detergent for messes like that. It traps the mess in the wash water and doesn’t redeposit it back on the sheets.
Gretta, you’re a strong girl.
Gretta that was horrible what you went through. I wouldn’t mind doing that morning thing you were doing for your fiancé for my boyfriend. But everyday?
I’m lucky I found Shitzel.com because I’m just now beginning to find out how women really think. I wish I knew some of this stuff thirty years ago.
I have three sisters and we all grew up together. I always knew how women think.
I’ll never figure em out but I’ll have fun tryin.
I think in the women’s quirks blog you’ll find out what makes us girls tick. LOL
Evena, I went out on a first date last night with a man I met last week when I was shopping at Walmart. We exchanged cell phone numbers. He called me the next day and asked me out to dinner. He took me to a really nice restaurant called Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse. The meal and the wine were fantastic. When we finished eating he excused himself to go to the men’s room. He was in there for twenty minutes when I started to think something happened to him. I was thinking maybe he got sick or something. I waited another ten minutes and then had our waiter go inside the men’s room to see if he was OK. Do you know that the bastard wasn’t in there and his car wasn’t even in the parking lot. This piece of shit left me holding the bag with the check and it was almost $200. I didn’t have any money with me or even a credit card. The manager took me in his office and I had to do some pretty nasty things to clear up the bill. I just wanted everyone to know what happen to me. All of you Shitzel.com members be careful and not let something like this happen to you.
WTF! I would find that son of a bitch and kick him in the balls.
My God. What did you have to do?
Did the manager make you give oral sex?
Man that’s the oldest trick in the book. I remember doing that when I was in High School.
Cream Puff, I’m curious. What did you have to do?
Oral and anal and it wasn’t fun.
I knew it.
Men are pigs.
Cream Puff, Why didn’t you call a friend and borrow the money to pay the bill?
Toni, I have no friends to count on and the restaurant was closing and it was late. I just wanted to get out of that situation so I just did what I had to do. After that I had to walk home which was more than five miles from the restaurant. Luckily a man was driving by and asked if I needed help and took me home.
I woulda bit his dick off!
This happened to me a long time ago but as soon as I noticed the date ditched me I snuck out of the restaurant too.
I don’t know what I’d do in a situation like that. That’s scary.
Sometimes I guess it’s necessary to have to do things to get out of certain situations.
I’m glad I have plenty of friends.
I don’t want to sound strange but that whole thing sounded kind of exciting. I don’t know if I would really want to go through that whole ordeal but it sounded kinky.
Like I said before, I’m learning a lot from this Shitzel.com. One question though, do girls really like to take it up the wazoo?
I like it if it’s done slowly. It’s not something I would want to do everyday. Maybe once a week.
Once a week or maybe a couple of times a week but I have to be in the right mood and feeling good if you know what I mean.
This is reserved only for the right man and at the right time. I admit I fantasize about it a lot but only indulge maybe a few times a year.
Tootsie Pop, I’d love to be the right man at the right time.
Bill you seem like a sweet guy even with that beard. What city do you live in? Maybe we’re neighbors.
I’m in Juneau, Alaska.
I live in Hollywood, Florida. We’re really far apart. I might seriously consider coming up there for one winter and maybe we can get snowed in for the duration. I bet you and I would never get bored. Plus I’ve never seen snow before. I think it would be exciting.
Tootsie Pop, I would love to have you up here for the winter.
I love snow skiing.
Bill, we will definitely talk about this more.
Snowed in for the winter sounds sensual. If I had a nice man and a girlfriend I think I wouldn’t mind.
You girls are really making me crazy tonight just thinking about it.
I wouldn’t mind being the girlfriend.
I certainly wouldn’t mind being the girlfriend also. Go Girl, with me as your girlfriend you’d never want or need a man. I’ve got a magic tongue just for you and it’s like the Energizer Bunny!
Hey Maragaritaville, I could use a tongue like yours for my ass.
That sounds good.
I mean Margaritaville’s tongue.
Evena, I would like your advice please. I met someone at work. They are a new hire employee and have been at the store a week now. I really like this person and they seem to like me. She shares lunch with me every day. They even kissed me on the lips once and that was yesterday. It was in the lunchroom and we were the only people in there at the time. How can I get this to go a little further. I really like this person. I might even be falling in love. I feel really tingly when we get close to each other. Please let me know what to do next.
Pat, I need to ask a couple of questions. Is this person at your job a man or a woman? I see you referred to this new friend as “they”. I also need to know if you’re a woman or a man. The answers are going to help me give you the right advice. It was hard for me to know just by looking at your picture.
Evena, this new friend is a girl. I’m a girl too but I mostly really feel like a boy. I always have even when I was little. The girl at work knows I’m a girl too.
Pat, I want you to spend a little money which will turn out to be an investment. Shop around on-line and buy a set of 14K gold split heart friendship necklaces. Give her this as a gift during your lunch break. Open the box in front of her and put one around her neck and then the other around yours. Then give her one kiss and both of you get back to work. She’ll be thinking of you the rest of the day and I know they will be some very nice thoughts. Probably even some fantasizing.
I need advice from Evena. My husband’s mistress recently died and now he’s coming to me thinking I’m going to do the nasty with him again. She was doing all those things for him for the past twenty years thank God because I’m not up to that kind of thing anymore. The last few nights he’s been sliding over to me when I’m sleeping and trying to do what those other ladies were talking about. I’ve never done it that way in my life. What do I do?
Nothing is nasty if you and your husband are still in love.
Hey Bessie, you believe in miracles? Because it’s a miracle anyone would want to tap that.
Age is just a number.
I’ve just been a silent member on Shitzel.com but tonight I have to say something to Bessie. You’re lucky to still have a husband at your age or in fact any age. A good man isn’t that easy to come by. I think you should at least take care of your husband’s needs by using your hand. He really deserves more. Maybe you should take your dentures out and take care of him a little better. Remember he just lost his girlfriend. That was the one doing everything you were supposed to do.
Bessie, quit being a schmo. Take his shmeckle and nosh on it a little. You just might like it.
Bessie needs to smoke a spliff before going to bed. Then when her hubby stuffs his butt plug up her pooper it might even feel good.
Bessie, If you don’t open up and give him all when you’re in bed together starting tonight I believe your marriage and relationship is completely over. I would suggest separate rooms until your husband moves out.
Open wide for Chunky
Bessie, get some lubrication. I use Durex Play and it also warms. There are a lot of others out there. Walgreens and CVS carry them.
Bessie, don’t worry about it. You’ll enjoy!
I use Liquid Silk and I use LuvButter too. Both are really good and makes things go easy.
I use a gel for a different reason and this stuff really works. It’s called Aichun Beauty Vagina Shrinking Tightening Gel. This stuff is amazing and has herbal extracts in it also. I just wanted to put this information out.
I use KY Love Passion. It’s fragrance alone is enough to arouse anyone.
I think Jill, Kadejah and Shiksa Smoozer are right. Bessie should do things to please her husband in bed. No matter what he wants to do. The exercise alone will do her good.
I’d like to ask Evena for some advice. Evena, last night my boyfriend and I went to bed and we started to fool around. I started to do oral sex on him and felt scraping on my lower lip. When I looked at his penis to see what it was from I found a large genital wart part way down the shaft. I was shocked. It wasn’t there a week ago. What do you think? Is he cheating on me with some diseased girl? Can a man get something like this from something else like from not washing his penis enough? That’s what he told me. I don’t believe him. What do you think?
I wash my penis every day. I also use a hand sanitizer on it throughout the day. Purell is good and so is Germ-X. You can get them in the really small pocket size at Walgreens.
Fran, that’s a serious issue. His genital warts can spread to your lips and tongue. I had a girlfriend that got them on her lips. It’s a disease called HPV that causes them.
Chango, why the hell are you using hand sanitizer on your schlong for? Are you crazy?
My mother used to put a small bottle of hand sanitizer in my pocket when I would got to school. She told me there are two things to keep clean throughout the day, your hands and your penis. Then it just became a habit.
I suppose your mother had your father do this too?
Hey Fran, maybe next time you’ll look before you leap. I check a man’s privates up and down with a light on before I engage in anything.
I use soap and water a couple of times a day. That other thing with hand sanitizer is insane.
Hey Marvin how long is it?
Three inches when I’m not aroused.
How did you come up with this topic today of how many times a man scrubs his balls? I’d rather hear some juicy women’s issues.
Hi Bill, how would you like me to come up to Alaska and scrub something for you? LOL
Tootsie Pop I’ll take you up on that offer for this winter coming. If you really want to spend a few months up here like you said before I’ll purchase the tickets online for you. Think about it.
I’m already thinking of a winter vacation with you. We’ll talk soon for details.
My father abandoned us when I was four years old. My mother had me and my three sisters to bring up by herself.
I’d like to comment on the penis washing topic. I must be old school because I clean my entire body in the shower every morning and before I go to bed. That hand sanitizer thing sounds like that person who was using it on his penis several times a day has some issues. They were probably caused by his mother. The alcohol in the hand sanitizer would probably burn the skin off his penis if he used it after sex or really hard rubbing. I’d suggest him to break that habit.
I don’t think I’d like some man’s genital warts going in and out of my mouth. That sounds horrible and I certainly wouldn’t want those things to start growing on my lips or tongue. Yekk.
I would like to welcome all the new visitor contributors to Shitzel.com and that we are now up and running again. Welcome to: alejandralouis, bukaczaczskas, caroledevlin808, chantale, chip, chowdhury-serina11996, cuevaztec1970, dkistulinec1996, elenorholbrook842007, and elena.maximova2002. I’m here for all of you and I’m happy to have the opportunity to give you advice that will keep your love life the best it can be.
Evena, I can’t believe shitzel.com is up and running again. You know I’ve been going to shitzel every day for the last year hoping you’re there. I love your advice and I love all the people on shitzel.com. I don’t want to start a welcome message talking about a problem I have but I need advice. My vagina has grown more lips now that I’m getting a little older. It’s not like it used to be where it was cute and kinda just closed. It’s like extra folds of skin on each side. My husband plays with the extra skin before he makes love to me. He says it looks good but I feel like I’m deformed or something. He even chews a little on them when he goes down there. Should I see a plastic surgeon? I don’t like what my vagina looks like anymore.
Lakeetha, I wanted to tell you I have the same problem as you except I don’t have a man to do what your husband does for you. I haven’t found a man to do that sort of thing for me for a very long time. I learned to use things to satisfy myself. I don’t really want to say what I use but it looks like the real thing and I grow them myself in my vegetable garden. My vaginal lips started to become really stretched and sagging a few years back. I tried this skin firming lotion but it never helped. The lotion helped a little with the wrinkles on my face but not where I really needed it. I can’t even look between my legs in the mirror now without crying.
I noticed my mother has that same problem.
I noticed only because she had asked me to put calamine lotion on her heat rash she had between her legs.
Lakeetha, there are surgical and non-surgical solutions to this sort of problem. This problem is more prevalent in women over the age of 50 but there are known cases of women in their 20s having this problem. Look at this video link to see a non-surgical method that is widely used today to fix this sort of problem. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40dySHqQiMQ
Evena, I have a question for you. I was making love with a new girlfriend I just met last weekend and when she was pleasuring me I had the most overwhelming feeling of total euphoria. It was like her and I became one entity. I’ve never had a feeling like this come over me before. I think I really love her. I feel like I’m in a dream. Should I tell her how I feel right now or wait a little while?
How was she pleasuring you?
Chango, I guess you know girls have a little button and when stimulated the right way we just melt like butter. She was licking and suckling on my nipples which drove me wild and then she did the same to my little button for twenty minutes until I think I exploded. My entire body went into uncontrollable convulsions.
WOW! I wish someone would do that to me.
I’m an expert at that and I guarantee I could do the same thing to GO GIRL and she would have the same experience and even more so. I make girls squirt. I’d love the opportunity to show her.
Chango, that’s a woman thing.
I’ve peed on men before but only when they ask for it. Is that the squirting everyone’s talking about?
Hi Go Girl. My advice to you is to tell her just how you feel about her. Do this the next time you see her. Invite her over for dinner and put the atmosphere just right. Wear a sexy little outfit, light some scented candles, turn the lights down low, have some nice easy music playing low and have a really special meal with chilled wine ready. Don’t forget a bunch of exotic flowers. This will set the atmosphere for you to tell her how much you love her. I bet she’ll be telling you that she loves you just as much also. Good luck Go Girl. Let me know how it turned out.
I’ve had men pee on me before. It felt warm and got me very excited. It was in the shower so there wasn’t a mess.
I think I’d like it but I’d be scared to ask a man to do it.
Evena, I’m a professional dancer in Miami and my boss is pressuring me to go to bed with him. I’m kind of scared because I think he’s in the Russian mob. If I do I think he’ll make me do it with his friends too. I see he has guys hanging around him that look like they’re right out of the movie Red Heat. What should I do?
I know just what he’s looking to do. It’s happened before to me. It’s exactly what you think could happen. First he has you then he passes you around to all his friends. It’s not pretty. All of them want anal too.
Bliss, watch out. I think I know the place you’re dancing at. They try that on all the girls. I know some girls that the exact thing happened to them and just the way Manouchka described.
Jobs aren’t easy to come by. If the pay is good and it brings food on the table then maybe you stick it out till something better comes along. I wish I could dance.
I always had fantasies of being a nude dancer. Is it fun?
I’ve thought of that too.
I would love to see Tootsie Pop and Bliss dance together and I’m in the middle. If I had a Genie and had three wishes, that would be one of them.
Bill, how about me too? I could make your dreams come true.
You’re pretty Cream Puff but what the hell happened to your lips?
Bill, I had silicon injections for lip augmentation by a Spanish woman I was introduced to. She did it out of her house. They got like this and now there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t think they’re too bad and a lot of guys really like what I can do with them.
Did you get the injections on your tongue also? Then you could really do some magic.
Cream Puff, I like your lips. I’d love to kiss them.
Oy vey. Cream Puff, those lips are way over the top. Are you sure a zhlub didn’t give you a zetz in the kisser?
I can’t speak for all men but I like her lips. They look sensual.
Those lips look perfect. Can I borrow them for 10 minutes?
You can borrow mine.
Evena. I have a roommate problem and want to know how to confront her. We share a two bedroom one bath apartment. Most of the time when I wake up and go use the toilet I lift the lid to sit down and I see my roommate’s bowel movements and used toilet paper still in the toilet. She never flushes the toilet after using it. If it’s in there all night it really smells awful. How should I handle this?
Twin Peaks, get rid of her. She’s disrespecting you. She’s not forgetting to flush. She’s showing she’s the Alpha female in that wolf den.
I woulda pushed her head in the toilet and made her eat most of it.
That stuff doesn’t taste good.
Twin Peaks, You are gorgeous. Do you mind if I ask if those are real?
Marcel, thank you for your compliment. You’re so sweet. Yes they’re real. I had a baby two months ago and they’re even larger now and lactating so much it’s embarrassing because my milk leaks through my bras and blouses. I guess It’s the price I have to pay for having cute boobies.
Twin Peaks, you do have pretty breasts.
I’d cut off my right testicle just for some of Twin Peaks milk.
Women with milk are sexy as hell! I love it.
When I was in my 20s that’s how I looked.
Bessie, I bet they still look good.
The time I was lactating I let my boyfriend drink all the milk he wanted. He’d suckle on my nipples like a baby. He’d squeeze just above and below my nipples and make them spray my milk all over his face. It was really sensual watching him do this. He still calls me his chocolate milk girl.
Fashionista Girl, I would love to try some of your home made chocolate milk. You’d make a fortune if you decided to bottle it. Another suggestion would be to put your picture on the label.
I’d love to try some of it but right from the spout. LOL
I would have loved to have Fashionista Girl’s milk all over my moustache and beard. I wouldn’t wash my face for a week.
Thank you guys and girls for the compliments. I’m sorry but they ran dry and you’ll have to wait till I have my next baby.
Hi Bliss. I advise you to quit dancing at that club. This needs to be done right now and will literally save your ass. You’re a beautiful young woman and should never be subjected to these sort of men at those kind of clubs. That kind of environment is not for you. Maybe modeling or fashion shoots could be your next career. Try making a modeling portfolio and distribute it to all the modeling and advertising agencies and you just might wind up with a new profession that will keep you out of harm’s way and make you a lot of money.
Twin Peaks, Wanda is so right. Your roommate is playing with your mind and testing you to see how far she can get with you. I feel like saying 420 has the right idea but the best thing to do is move out and find an efficiency or a one bedroom apartment, whichever is affordable, and move in by yourself. One day you’ll have a man over to spend the night at the apartment you’re at now and when he goes to the bathroom he’ll find what you’ve been finding and never come back. Even your breasts won’t bring him back after that experience.
My husband was obsessed with my milk. He didn’t even leave enough for the baby and I had to start her on formula.
When I was lactating I went to bed only to wake up to find my husband suckling away. He told me he couldn’t sleep and warm milk would make him sleepy. It did but it took him an hour. I think this falls under the shitzel.com men’s quirks. It looks like they’re all milk drinkers. LOL
I had a kitten once that tried to breast feed on me.
Evena, I have a problem and it has to do with my husband and a birthday present he gave me last night. I didn’t know what it was and thought it was a kids toy but then I realized it was a sex toy for a female. I never used that kind of thing in my life and it was a shock. Last night he asked me to use it on him. I refused to do what he asked but he used it on himself in front of me in the bed. I don’t know what has happened to him.
Was it a vibrating dildo and he shoved it up his pooper?
He’s just going through a phase.
It appears your husband has turned gay. Did you observe your husband with any stranger than usual behavior previous to his bedroom exhibition?
Late at night when Harold thinks I’m asleep I squint my eyes so he can’t see I’m awake and watch him masturbate, sometimes violently like he’s enraged. I’ve been finding his ejaculation stains on the sheets when I do the wash.
My husband has been doing the same thing but I see no stains. He now keeps a roll of toilet paper on his night stand. Now I realize what it’s for.
When you two were young you never learned how to please a man? I feel sorry for your husbands.
I think the most important thing for a woman to learn is how to sexually please a man and also a woman.
From a sexual standpoint I know exactly what my fiancé likes and I do it for him and I also let him do whatever he’s in the mood to do to me. I relax and we both enjoy ourselves. That’s what life’s all about.
Kadejah, I met a girl like you six years ago. I was a fool to let her slip away. I should have asked her to marry me. I thought at the time that I didn’t want to be tied down to one girl. Now I regret it.
I have the solution for the husbands of those two old worthless wives. The answer is in this thirty second video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThnCjec6Gu4
I’ve dated recently divorced men before and when they made love, WOW. They had so much stored up energy that I couldn’t believe it. Divorce must be like a time machine for them and they feel twenty years younger.
Evena, I have a problem at work. It’s not a love problem and I think it’s the opposite. I bring my lunch to work everyday in my Pack-It lunch bag I bought from Jet.com a few weeks ago. Since I’ve been bringing it to work my co-workers have been laughing about me. Maybe because of the design and color of the bag I chose? Everyone here puts their lunch boxes and bags in a large refrigerator which everyone has access to. Yesterday I went to eat my lunch and opened the bottom Tupperware container in my lunch bag and I found a used tampon on top of my macaroni salad. I could tell the tampon had just been used because the blood on it was still wet. It could have been one of six girls I work with. I didn’t report this because I wouldn’t want to make trouble at work. I want to find out which girl placed this tampon in my macaroni salad. Evena, I know you’re also a Private Investigator because I clicked on the ad at the top of the Shitzel.com page and saw you listed as an Investigator. Would you please help me?
Chango, I’m curious. Did you still eat the macaroni salad?
No. My macaroni salad was in a shallow Tupperware container and some of the blood leaked all the way through the macaroni.
Chango, how did you know that was a tampon?
One time one of my sisters had trouble getting one out of her. I helped her. It was way up inside her and there was a string attached but the string went way up there and was difficult to find it. When I did pull it out I saw it was soaked in blood. I know what they are.
Chango, you must be very close with your sister.
I’m close with all three of my sisters. We’ve been through a lot together and many of the things were not so good. My youngest sister was raped in 2015 and I was raped in 2014 so I know exactly how she felt and helped her through the five steps of healing after being raped.
The fifth step is find the guy and cut his dick off.
Chango, how did you get raped? How did it happen?
I went to the beach on my day off to get a tan. It’s healthy because I get a lot of vitamin D from the sunshine. I went to use the public restroom. When I was doing #2 the man in the stall next to me asked if I had any toilet paper and could I bring it to him because his ran out. I brought it to him and he made me pull my pants down and raped me. It was a bad experience.
It sounds like you went to a gay beach.
It’s a clothing optional beach. There’s mainly men I see each time I go. I was thinking women were too shy to go there.
You have a lot of issues going on besides that lunch box ordeal but I’ll try to give you some help on that one. The girl that did this to your lunch box will be the one that now avoids eye contact with you at work. Out of those six girls you mentioned strike a small conversation with each one at a separate time. You’ll be able to detect the perpetrator of this cruel and demented act by the failure for them to keep eye contact with you during the conversation and also by their body language. They’ll probably turn their body slightly away from you and blink their eyes approximately every five seconds. Look for these signs and you most likely have the girl that did it.
I’ve already ruled out one of them. She’s around 50 and I think she already did menopause.
Evena, I need your advice. Every time I go out with my boyfriend he’s always staring at other girls, especially ones dressed like hoes. I do anything he wants when we go to bed. Why is he looking for someone else?
My husband has always been a looker too. I always see him looking at women’s backsides. When he sees me watching what he’s doing he pretends he’s looking at something else. I think all men look at other women.
I thought I was the only one with that problem. When my husband stares at other women’s breasts I feel jealous. The bigger ones the more he stares. I’ve even seen him smile when he does it.
I get uncomfortable when I’m having a conversation with a man and all he does is stare at my breasts when we’re talking.
I love it when men are looking at my tukhes. When I’m walking and I know a man is staring I wiggle a little more. I feel like a yutz but I love it when a man gives me a potch on my tukhes.
I love it when a man spanks my bottom.
The answer to your question is scientific. When men stare at women such as you call hoes their bodies produce a rush of endorphins and dopamine that shoot directly to men’s brains giving them an instant euphoric high. When they add fantasizing to the staring then their high goes ten fold. This is inherent in all men and it’s something that they can’t control. They will all stare, some briefly and others much longer.
I’m a new member of Shitzel. There’s a lot of interesting things going on here. Most of the things I’ve read made me laugh till I cried but some made me realize I’m not the only one with some of these problems.
Evena, I’ve got a love problem. It’s with a girl I work with that doesn’t even know I exist. I can’t stop watching her. We work together at Checkers. It’s a really small workplace and I’m always bumping into her. She makes me so anxious that I have to go to the bathroom and masturbate otherwise I can’t even finish the shift. How do I get her to talk to me about something besides a food order?
Hey Pac Man, you’re kinda cute. You shouldn’t have any problem for a girl to wanna talk to you.
Hey Pac Man, I hope you’re washing your hands after you jerk off.
Did you just announce the new jerk off burger on Checkers 2 for $5 menu?
Checkers has a new burger?
It sounds like they only serve it at the Checkers Pac Man works at.
I love Checkers but I wouldn’t want to find that stuff on my Deep Sea Double.
I get really turned on when I get that stuff on my face and breasts. It doesn’t taste bad like other women say.
No man’s going to put his sperm all over my face.
I hate it when it happens.
I feel fine when my boyfriend does this. If it makes him feel good that’s what counts.
Kadejah, I agree with you. It’s like if they’ll do anything I ask to please me sexually I reciprocate.
I’m a newbie here. Just wanted to make a comment about men and breasts. Men always seem to go straight for the breasts and they’ll finish right there if you let them. Then you have to start over again and lead them to the right place. LOL
I could spend all day just caressing a woman’s breasts.
Marvin, you’re invited over for breakfast anytime. LOL
Hey Brenda, I love titties too!
After reading the problem you posted for my advice and noticed that you mentioned it’s very tight quarters in your work area, I advise you to wait till the girl you’re infatuated with has her back turned to you and gently brush up on her backside with your frontside and say excuse me and give her an embarrassing smile and expression. A couple of those and that’ll break the ice between you. Don’t think it won’t get her aroused. It will. She’ll be the one who’s fantasizing at work. Before you know it both of you will be making small talk that’ll turn into friendship talk that’ll turn into exactly what you’re looking for. Also keep the hell out of the bathroom.
Does anyone know if Checkers is hiring?
I heard they’re always hiring.
The Shitzel.com blog site was down for the longest. I’m glad it’s up and running. I can’t wait to hear more of you girl’s problems that need fixing by Evena!
Hey Halim, don’t you ever have a love problem?
I have one but I’m too embarrassed to say.
I’d love to hear it. I wish I was your love problem.
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